It seems every time I drive by the old place I used to live before I moved in with TNT 9 years ago I get a feeling of wishing I could go back to those days. Before you think I’m wishing I wasn’t married, that’s not it at all. I was talking to my friend Susan about it and she finally told me why. I miss having a much simpler life. And she’s right.
Life back then during the summer looked like this. I watered my flowers every night. Played co-ed softball Monday nights, mowed my yard Wednesday nights, washed my car Thursdays, then normally at the race track either Fri & Sun or Sat & Sun. I popped popcorn every night and drank so much Dr. Pepper that it now has no taste to me. Grant it I lived pay check to pay check and worried about my gas bill to heat the terribly insulated barn house, but I did it. And I loved it!
I miss the days when Mildred worked at the stop-2-shop after college classes and would make me a special cal-zone. I’d leave work and she’d have it ready for me. I’d sit in a booth and read the paper and talk to her. I miss that. It was always the best part of my day spending a 1/2 hour with her.
Susan and her son use to stop by two nights a week just to catch up. They lived further east of me and always stopped. I no longer get to see her as regularly, but I do go to all her son’s activities.
I miss my now husband bringing breakfast sandwiches (made by Mildy at the stop-2-shop) and him sneaking in my house to wake me up.
Life now during the summer; if I actually get flowers planted they get watered once a week, maybe. On the mower for 4-6 hours every week, help TNT haul water or fertilizer to the fields he’s spraying, clean house, laundry, cook, 2-4 photo sessions a week. Then the whole stress of wheat and corn harvest. And that is all after a 40 hour work week at my job in town.
Long gone are the Thursday’s when I washed my car every week. Long gone are the days of eating popcorn and drinking pop every night. Long gone are the days of playing co-ed softball and now I’m giving up co-ed volleyball.
I wonder what it would be like to go back to not having to sit at my computer all day long and edit pictures. Or not having to look at my calendar to see if I can go out for supper with friends on a week day. Or saying yes let’s go shopping instead of oh crap I have to go to Hays for Regional Wrestling. It makes me sad to look at that calendar and see how much I have to do this year. I am already booking seniors.
I do know this is all brought on by myself. I could simplify my life if I quit my photo business but I really do love it. I have “simplified” what I offer now with Seniors & Sports. I have also learned to say no which has been huge.
Instead of looking back on the stuff I no longer do I need to look to what I do HAVE NOW. I no longer worry if I can pay my bills, I have an great house, 4 quarters of farmland, a successful photography business, a husband who loves me and we get to travel. And I’m most blessed that even though we have lost a few family members my family is healthy and always supportive, And I can’t forget 3 fur babies who love me unconditionally. I am pretty lucky even if I have a hard time seeing it sometimes.